The Michael Cohen Test

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By Bill Maher

Donald Trump famously said he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose any supporters. And that was before we fully understood the slavish malleability of the Republican base. I’ll say this about Donald Trump: he knows a bunch of suckers when he sees them.

But no one actually thinks Trump is going to shoot someone on 5th Avenue. I think the new test should be something that actually could happen: if Michael Cohen’s hair starts falling out and he becomes deathly ill, will Trump lose any supporters? How about if Michael Cohen falls out of a window?

This is how Putin would handle a talkative lawyer who knows where all the bodies are buried — he’d bury him next to the other bodies. You know at some level Trump — who wishes he could handle some/all of these problems like Putin, Duterte, or Erdogan do — is wondering how to get Michael Cohen to shut up. Right now all he has is Rudy Giuliani, whose bullshit doesn’t even convince the anchors on Fox News.  

But think about it: If Michael Cohen were rushed to the hospital next week after being poisoned, what would the Republican base do? Trump would say it’s a shame, great guy, has no idea who did it. “We’re going to get to the bottom of what happened to Mike, and I say that very strongly.”

What would Republicans do? How many points off that 88% approval rating would he lose? Here's my guess: the Republican base would not abandon Trump, even if Michael Cohen turned up dead.