Magic Hate Ball

By Bill Maher

Solving our immigration problems is so important to Donald Trump that he says he’s going to do that first – before he “restores law and order,” “defeats ISIS,” and “creates jobs.” And then in week two…  

People say Trump’s “basket of deplorables” are “frustrated” or“ignorant” or “easily manipulated” – and all those things are true to a certain extent – but I think more than anything else they’re prone to simplistic, binary thinking. Given the choice between continuing to endure the bad stuff in the world and just eliminating the bad stuff, they choose the latter.

Who wants to hear Hillary Clinton’s stupid, nuanced plans to address illegal immigration, stem crime, confront terror and stimulate employment – all of which will cost money – when Donald Trump is just going to fix all that? That he can tell you.

“How?” That’s a liberal-media “gotcha” question. It figures they’d ask it.  “How” is for inside-the-beltway, status-quo thinkers who are more likely than not beholden to special interests. You just stick to your two choices: “Great-again America” and “Shit-hole America.”

Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of a magic, impenetrable wall that reduces illegal immigration to zero and the theoretical ability to identify and eliminate the “bad ones.” But my favorite has got to be this sounds-good-on-paper notion that the “good ones” who stay will “pay fines and back taxes.” We’re finally going to milk that cash cow – the deep, bulging pockets of America’s illegal immigrants. Are you kidding? These people can’t afford auto insurance.