The Daddy Party

By Bill Maher

We hear this every four years, but Michael Bloomberg is “seriously considering” running for president as an Independent. People close to him say if Trump or Cruz is the Republican nominee and Sanders is the Democrat, he’ll probably do it. Apparently he thinks Clinton is appealing enough to the middle that, if it’s her, he probably won’t run.

This would probably result in a Republican president, because the rational vote would split, and you could win with the 35 to 40 percent of the country that has anger management issues. It’s a shame, because you know who would make a great Republican nominee? Michael Bloomberg.

As mayor, he was a fiscal conservative, a champion of charter schools, a big law and order guy. 12 years ago, he endorsed George W. Bush for president. He’s a jobs creator worth nine times what Donald Trump is (according to Forbes), so he could be the traditional big business, Wall Street candidate. He supported the Iraq War, and is hawkish on Israel. Old school conservatives are saying, “You had me at stop and frisk.”

Sure, he banned smoking, trans fat and large sodas, but Republicans like strongmen who rule with an iron fist. He’s liberal on gay rights, but so are most people these days. Guns and abortion are the real deal breakers, but they didn’t use to be. You could run as a Republican without being Davey Crockett or Jerry Falwell.

Wouldn’t it be nice to still have a real choice between a Mommy Party and a Daddy Party? That’s what we could have with Bloomberg from Wall Street vs. Sanders from Denmark. But Republicans are no longer the Daddy Party. They’re the drunken, deadbeat uncle party, which forces Democrats to be the Mommy and the Daddy who just don’t let him near the kids.