By Bill Maher
We can’t seem to completely relax about Putin, and whether he’s going to grab Ukraine and slip it up his sleeve, like he’s stealing the silverware. I don’t care which set of criminals loot Chernobyl, but it made me wonder: Which countries aren’t on our shit list? And why do we move countries from shit list to bosom buddy the minute someone we hate hates them?
Putin took Crimea, and suddenly a semi-country got turned into America’s dearest old friend. (See McCain, John: “I know I speak for every American when I say… we are all Georgians.”)
To be a patriot in America means finding all other nations laughable or evil or both. We hate everyone and they hate us. We’re like Shia LaBeouf; we have a beef with everybody. Is there any country we don’t have a problem with besides Israel and wherever there’s a war?