By Bill Maher
There's a mobile app called 2nd Vote that grades companies by their adherence to conservative values. For example, type in CVS and you'll find them rated "red" (because CVS supports gay marriage and has donated money to a breast cancerfoundation aligned to Planned Parenthood). You're then informed that Rite Aid is a better choice for your conservative dollars.
The great thing about this app is, if you're a wingnut who only wants to support approved companies, you're screwed. Because there just aren't that many approved companies. You can't bank at most banks, you can't use American Express, you can't get a mortgage through Freddie Mac, you can't watch NBC, and you can't buy any American cars.
And also, now that they've found out that Costco pays their workers a decent wage, you can't shop there, either. Never mind that just over a year ago, Costco was where Mitt Romney went to show he was common folk. Now, according to the National Review, Costco is "the arugula of chain stores." Yes, arugula, the salad green that signifies to all conservatives everything that is wrong with America.