By Bill Maher
People think the biggest leap for Jesus Republicans is loving the Nazarene and napalm. This is a misunderstanding. There are plenty of perfectly sound theological reasons for an intellectual Christian to wage war. Ask Aquinas, or Augustine, or Bristol Palin. The real problem is worshipping motherhood as the sole reason for women to exist besides making nachos – while hating welfare. You can believe one or the other, but not both. Otherwise it’s like: We all agree everyone alive should be extruding offspring at all times / Hey, how the hell did all these kids get here?
Texas congressman Louie Gohmert has squared that circle. Here’s what he’s come up with: A nationwide “family cap” that “aims at cutting off additional support to children born out of wedlock and currently on welfare.” Louie Gohmert is a former deacon at Green Acres (not making that name up) Baptist Church. Because a Christian would never starve a baby, unless the baby’s mother was bad.