The Cronut Hole

By Bill Maher

There's a trendy SoHo bake shop called Dominique Ansel Bakery that's introduced a new donut that's all the rage in New York City. It's called a Cronut. It's a cross between a donut and croissant. The Cronuts sell for five dollars apiece, the bakery limits two per customer, and the people start lining up at five a.m. to get one. The Cronut's popularity has spawned a new black market: Cronut scalpers. It's not what you think. It's not shady guys holding open overcoats with pockets filled with Cronuts, "Yo, I got Cronuts here." There's a service called Premium Cronut Delivery and they will wait in line for you and deliver your Cronut to your door. It's quite reasonable. They charge only 100 dollars per Cronut. Two for 200 bucks and 10 for $1500, if you want get a box for the office. That's a 950 percent markup, once again showing that some people in America have way too much money.

In the latest recovery, 93 percent of the gains went to the top 1 percent. The reason things are like this is because a recent Gallup Poll showed that Americans are delusional. The reason they don't storm the castle is because they believe that someday they may be living in that castle.

The poll asked Americans, "Do you think the United States benefits from having a class of rich people?" 63 percent answered yes. Gallup asked those who do not consider themselves to be rich if they would like to be rich and the majority answered yes. This widespread American delusion that if you're not rich now you may someday be rich is how Republicans got average Joes all tweaked out about the Estate Tax. 

Millennials are the ones who should really be upset about this. They should not be LOLing. Americans aged 18-29 are experiencing over 16-percent unemployment and are starting out burdened with tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt. When you graduate from business school 80-grand in the red, that's not a good business model. I feel sorry for the Millennials -- they've got plenty of time to stand in line at the trendy bakery; the problem is that they can't afford to buy the Cronut.