Confirmation Bias

By Bill Maher

Chuck Hagel is the first enlisted soldier ever nominated to head the Pentagon. About time, isn't it?

To explain Hagel's dovishness, the insufferable Lindsey Graham said about Hagel, "I think he's very haunted by Vietnam." As if that's a bad thing. I like the idea of having a Secretary of Defense who's personally haunted by the reality of war -- maybe we should even make it a prerequisite for the job. We'd certainly save a lot of lives and money that way.

Reports say senate Republicans, led by John McCain and Graham, are actually going to try to filibuster Hagel, one of their own. In 2006, McCain called Hagel "one of the two, three or four leading voices on national security and foreign policy in the senate," and said if he were president, he'd "be honored to have Chuck with me in any capacity."

What changed? 2008 happened. McCain felt personally slighted because Hagel didn't back him for president, and he's willing to go nuclear over it because he's the thinnest-skinned man in America not named Donald Trump.

Also, he's afraid that Hagel is going to ruin his plans for war with Iran. John McCain needs war like a dollhouse needs dolls. He's already sent out the invitations, ordered the cake, and the last thing he wants is some rational person coming in half-cocked to spoil his international quagmire.

Why can't I turn on a Sunday news program without somebody telling me what John McCain and Lindsey Graham think? Who cares? The American people already made their decision about John McCain: he's a loser. Yeah, he was re-elected senator of Arizona, the stupidest state. And that's not my opinion; we had a contest and the people voted it the stupidest state, even over Florida and Alabama. Heck, McCain wanted to give the nuclear codes to Sarah Palin, who would have confused them with her locker combination at the gym and ended up blowing up the world.