The World’s Policeman/Jailer/Judge/Jury/Executioner

By Bill Maher                                            

Egypt has a new government, and if you're marking your calendar at home, that means the last election you forgot happened is Greece, and the next is, I dunno… Italy?

I guess the new Egyptian government is/isn't run by radical Muslims, but it's okay because they are/aren't just a puppet show, and the army is/isn't really in charge. And that's a good thing/shit-yourself nightmare. So, nothing to see here/Die screaming.

Also, Turkey's mad at Syria for shooting down a Turkish F-4, and Syria's mad at Jordan, because a Syrian pilot defected and took his to Mig 21 to King Hussein Air Base in Mufraq. (This one seems like a no-brainer. Jordan gives Turkey Syria's Mig. It's like Zipcar!)

And America, for reasons that that would strike the Founding Fathers as utterly mysterious, has to have an opinion on all of it. Imagine being Hillary Clinton, and being obliged to pretend to care all the time about everything? I can't even get interested in Downton Abbey. 

We all know JFK's famous quote from his inaugural: 

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty. This much we pledge--and more."

Otherwise known as the "Busybody Doctrine." But here’s something he said just ten months later, after he'd actually been president for a while: 

"And we must face the fact that the United States is neither omnipotent or omniscient - that we are only six percent of the world's population - that we cannot impose our will upon the other ninety-four percent of mankind - that we cannot right every wrong or reverse each adversity - and that therefore there cannot be an American solution to every world problem."

Flip-flopper.