Mechanical Failure

By Miles Leicher

If you’re an assistant in Hollywood, chances are you’ll have a few stories about crazy things you’ve had to do for your boss. Maybe you were sent out for coffee and expected to return with a “grande half-skinny, half-soy hot split quad shot latte.” Or that time you had to deliver a stool sample to the doctor’s office (guaranteed hot or it’s free!). Not to mention the horrors encountered every day by Nancy Grace’s nipple-gluer. Excuse me, former nipple-gluer.

So, needless to say, I’m grateful that our Co-Executive Producer, Dean Johnsen, is pretty low-maintenance when it comes to assistant duties. He even glues his own nipples! But every once in a while, a task comes along that he’s too busy to handle on his own – and that’s where I come in.

That task usually involves a malfunctioning mechanical pencil that has caused so much frustration that simply throwing it in the trash would be far too kind a punishment for it. So when I return to my desk to find a note like this:

I know what to do:

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to do for your boss? Sharing is caring!