King Putt

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By Bill Maher

Here’s another entry for my Dictator Checklist: creating preposterous myths about yourself.

There’s a new plaque on Trump’s locker at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach that says, “2018 Club Champion.” Trump didn’t play in that club championship but, as the story goes, he challenged the actual winner to a nine-hole match, which Trump claims to have won. So now he’s proclaimed himself “club champion,” in much the same way Elvis was a “blackbelt.” 

By the way, this, by Trump’s count, is his 20th club championship. It’s reminiscent of the Kim Jong Il legends that he began walking at three weeks old, that he authored 1,500 books and that he once shot a 38-under-par round of golf, including 11 holes-in-one. Trump always goes bigger. What’s the next Kim Jong Il-like claim he’ll expect us to believe? That he’s won seven Super Bowls? That he shits soft-serve ice cream? That he didn’t collude with Russia?