Say What?!

"I've been trying to get my wife to let me call her my "shawty" and she's on the fence about it." -Billy Martin, Head Writer

Quote of the Day

“Ever since that guy from ‘Lost’ married a 16-year-old, I haven’t been allowed to drive the babysitter home.” –Billy Martin, head writer



Real Time Fun Fact:

Back in the day, magazines didn’t dedicate their glossy pages to celebrity nip slips and side boobs. As a result, it turns out that nearly half of the ‘Real Time’ writing staff had to spend their (parents’) hard-earned cash on a pair of “X-Ray Specs.” It’s a wonder that more of them didn’t end up working for the TSA!

Flashback:

“In the 5^th grade, I was going to use my X-Ray Specs to see through Miss Freeland’s skirt. But during the bus ride to school, Timothy O’Gradnik punched me in the ear and stole them from me. To this day, I’ve always wondered if they worked.” –Billy Martin, Head Writer

Secret Decoder Rings? Red Ryder BB Guns? What sort of crazy stuff did you make your parents buy?

In the Writers Room

On speculation that Texas Gov. Rick Perry might run for President…

Billy Martin, Head Writer: “…Yeah, but has Rick Perry ever run a corner store?”

Jay Jaroch, Writer: “Who cares? He wears cowboy boots!”

Silly Martin

by Miles Leicher

The Real Time audience is treated to the comedic stylings of Head Writer Billy Martin before Friday's show.

Quote of the Day

by Miles Leicher

"If you eat candy, you'll be sick.  Have a banana...don't be an asshole."
-Head Writer Billy Martin, to himself