My Dream for America Has Come True

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By Bill Maher

For years I’ve been asking Americans to grow up about sex. Especially the Catholic Church, who not only needed to grow up but needed to wait for the people they were having sex with to grow up, too. But nobody needed to grow up more than the puritanical Evangelicals, who spent much of the Clinton and Bush years talking about abstinence, monogamy, and other good wholesome family values, like “gay people are going to hell.” 

Well, now we see how important all of that really was to them. As soon as they got in bed with Trump, all of that stuff went right out the window. Much like Trump would do when a woman’s husband would come home. The man has cheated on his wives more than Bill Clinton fantasized about cheating on his wife. And to Republicans, this matters zero. And it’s not because Trump is the cult leader, and cult leaders get to have sex with whatever member they want. Remember Rep. Scott DesJarlais of Tennessee? He was the doctor and proponent of traditional family values whose former wife had had two abortions. While married, DesJarlais also admitted to having affairs with at least six women, two of whom were patients. He impregnated one, and then tried to convince her to have an abortion, too. Does any of it matter? Nope. DesJarlais just won his primary, 70-30. 

Sexual morality, like deficits and corruption and even golf outings, is just a cudgel to be used against Democrats when they’re in office. Sex scandals will always be a part of public life. But in the Trump era, are they no longer something you need to resign for? Do politicians now have license to fornicate, cheat, impregnate, or jerk off anyone they feel like? Or is this only the law when the person doing the fornicating is a Democrat?