Christ All-Whitey

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By Bill Maher

No More Deaths is a faith-based organization (it’s an “official ministry” of the Unitarian Universalist Church but Catholics, etc. also belong) dedicated to immigration reform and to stopping migrant deaths along the Texas-Mexico border. So naturally its volunteers have been arrested for, among other things, leaving bottles of water so the migrants don’t die of thirst. There’s actually video on the No More Deaths YouTube channel of one Border Patrol agent pouring the water onto the ground.

One volunteer, a 35-year-old college instructor, was arrested for providing aid in the form of food, water, clothing and shelter to two migrants, and he now faces up to two decades in prison.

In Matthew 25:35 — like I have to tell you — Jesus says*, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” His disciples say, “Dude, when were you in prison?”  This leads Jesus to put a point on it like only Jesus could: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” It’s the Jesus I dig. He might not have been the Messiah, but I have to admit: I’m a fan. I’m not a follower. More like the Jesus version of a Bernie bro. 

But here’s who doesn’t really like Jesus: Evangelical Christians. Pew Research Center just asked Americans if they thought we had a responsibility to accept refugees, who last time I checked were hungry, thirsty, homeless, and often detained. Well, the people who claim to love them some Jesus were the most likely to tell the least of our brothers to go pound sand. As The Washington Post’s Philip Bump summarized, “No group – racial, by age, religious or political – was less supportive of that idea than white evangelical Protestants.”

There are really two sets of Christians in this country: the ones who actually follow biblical principles and actually try to help the poor and defenseless, and the ones who go to megachurches and worship Trump as a sort of demi-god. It’s no surprise which faction has all the money and power.

This may end up being the crowning achievement of the Trump administration — exposing Evangelical Republicans as the unchristian hypocrites they are. Can’t wait to hear y’all justify Trump cheating on his wife and then paying for his mistresses’ abortions! 

*Depending on which translation you’re using. I prefer the Kevin James Bible.