The New Wrath

By Bill Maher

After Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005, Franklin Graham called it God’s retribution for that city’s “Satan worship,” “sex perversion” and “orgies.” After Hurricane Sandy hit New York in 2012, Rabbi Noson Leiter called it “divine justice” for that state legalizing gay marriage. After Hurricane Harvey hit Houston in 2017, a minister named Kevin Swanson called it God’s punishment for Houston having a “very, very aggressively pro-homosexual mayor.”  All I’m saying is it’s pretty clear where hurricanes come from – from people having sex in the naughty hole.

So, let’s look back at Hurricane Florence. What was God trying to tell us?  CNN had a headline, “Pig poop and coal ash are real concern in North Carolina floods.” And the story says, “In addition to the usual physical and mental challenges floodwaters can typically bring, there is a potential problem for human health that involves some of the state's key industries: hog farming and coal power generation.”

It turns out the standing floodwater contains a lot of pig feces which, CNN notes, carries bacteria like E. coli and Salmonella, as well as industrial coal ash that “contains heavy metals including arsenic, lead and mercury, which can carry health risks.”

We all know that burning coal is a huge contributor to greenhouse gas emissions and ClimateNexus reports, “a widely-cited 2013 report by the UN Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO), estimates about 14.5 percent of global GHG emissions… can be attributed to the livestock sector annually. This is broadly equivalent to the emissions from all the fuel burned by all the world’s transport vehicles, including cars, trucks, trains, boats and airplanes.”

So, North Carolinians were swimming in pig shit and coal ash. Where are the Democrats’ nutty Christians proclaiming that hurricanes are God’s punishment for ignoring climate change? Oh, that’s right – we’re sane.