Tastes Like Chicken

By Bill Maher

Two recent news stories lead to the same conclusion: businesses can and will cheat when they get the chance. First, Japan’s Tanaka Corporation pleaded guilty in a Detroit federal court to selling faulty airbags. The company knew of a defect that caused the airbag to explode and send pieces flying at the passengers they’re designed to protect. They’ll be paying about a billion dollars in fines.

Meanwhile, a test commissioned by the Canadian Broadcasting Company shows that, while most fast food chicken contains almost 90 percent chicken DNA, Subway’s chicken contains about 50 percent chicken DNA (“oven-roasted chicken” had 53.6 percent, while the “strips” came in at just 42.8 percent). The remaining half appears to be soy, mostly. For reference, a piece of chicken that you buy at the supermarket contains 100 percent chicken DNA, though with processing and added salt and honey and stuff, the 90 percent fast food mark is to be expected (though not awesome). Fifty percent? Not so much.

It’s nice that the CBC chose to do that investigation, but the only way to really contain corporate greed is through regulation. You know, that stuff we’re currently chopping away at. Without regular inspections of meat and car parts and industrial waste, there’s really only one reliable way to tell if businesses are cheating: When people start dying.