Trump, By Elimination

By Bill Maher

I think people are asking the wrong question about Donald Trump. It’s not “why,” it’s “why now?” It’s not as if “me build big wall” is a new idea. So why this Republican primary cycle? And the answer is that serious, committed racist know-nothings have nowhere else to go.  

This is so crazy-obvious that it’s right in front of us and no one has seen it: For true, hardcore xenophobes – you know, “the base” – the current crop of Republican candidates is too diverse. They look the same to us, but that’s because we’re not a lynch mob.

Here’s how they look to white supremacists… I’m sorry, I mean “commonsense conservative patriots who want their country back”:

Marco Rubio? Mexican.

Ted Cruz? Mexican.

Jeb Bush? Mexican by marriage; father of anchor babies.

Ben Carson? Witch doctor.

Bob Jindal? Indian.

Carly Fiorina? Woman. (Who’s never even been pregnant!)

Rick Santorum? Papist.

Chris Christie? Papist.

George Pataki? Papist.

Lindsey Graham? Gay.

All deal breakers in 1861, when America was perfect.  

Okay, that leaves Scott Walker, Rick Perry, John Kasich and Mike Huckabee – but they’re all “politicians.” Donald Trump is the only old, white, male, puts-babies-in-ladies, Scots-German, protestant businessman.  Why shouldn’t he be winning?