The GOP’s Guantanamo Fantasy

By Bill Maher

President Obama is on a bit of a roll, and it feels like the two last bits of business he has before he leaves office are: 1) get an international agreement on global warming, and 2) finally close Guantanamo, no matter how much the idea of having a guy named Al-Talibani in a stateside jail cell makes Republicans soil their pants.

Obama is expected to reveal his plan to move the Gitmo prisoners soon – most likely to Supermax in Colorado, which is the place they probably should have gone in the first place. (Or if you don’t want them around at all anymore, send them to Sing Sing, where they will be promptly shivved.)  

Of course, Republicans have long freaked out about the idea of bringing these sinister geniuses, these Oceans 11 of international terrorism, to the mainland because, well…you’ve seen “The Rock” with Nicholas Cage! Things could happen, like (insert jailbreak fantasy too implausible for Hollywood movie starring Nicholas Cage here.) Republican Sen. Cory Gardner already made his disapproval clear, saying, “I will not sit idly by while the president uses political promises to imperil the people of Colorado by moving enemy combatants from Cuba, Guantanamo Bay, to my state of Colorado.” 

Seriously, Governor, walk us through how this is going to imperil the people of Colorado. We want to hear what scenario you’re envisioning where the people of Colorado are put in danger by moving Gitmo prisoners to Supermax in Colorado. Just for the entertainment value.

Same goes for any other Republican who opposes the transfer. Please, please, walk us through what you think happens if we house those prisoners in Supermax instead of Gitmo.