By Bill Maher
“If Hitler invaded hell I would make at least a favorable reference to the devil in the House of Commons.” – Winston Churchill
“That’s our Hitler!” – The Producers
Great news in the War Against ISIS: the hundreds of military “advisors” we’re sending will be fighting side-by-side with the freedom-loving, pro-western, suicide bomber brigades of the Mahdi Army. (Yes, Orwell fans, Oceania has always been allies with Eurasia.) The Mahdi Army has vowed to protect Baghdad and its holy shrines to the death, just like Bill Kristol. (Well, not his own death. But someone’s death.)
Muqtada al-Sadr officially dropped out of Iraqi politics a few months ago, to pursue solo projects, and because he said he was sick of corruption in Nouri al-Maliki’s government. But now he’s back and bygones are just blood under the bridge. He doesn’t know how to quit him. It’s like Brokeback Muslim.
The Mahdi Army had a parade in Baghdad, with an honest to God suicide brigade, marching and miming blowing themselves up. (History? First time: Tragedy. Second time: Monty Python.) According to the Daily Mail, there was also a truck with a loudspeaker announcing:
“Let the ISIS militants see our power today! Let Prime Minister al-Maliki see we are stronger than his government and his army! And tell the Iraqi people not to be afraid, we will win this war for you!”
And the clerics answered back: “To all those willing to die for Iraq, your souls will go to heaven! We will pray for you!”
America’s new buddies. Hup-two-three-kaboom.
Oh, and it was also reported that “a Shia cleric loyal to al-Sadr said their anti-Western views remained and that the 300 US military advisers en route to Iraq would be attacked.”