Happy Chemtrails

By Bill Maher

Sometimes when a jet flies through the air it leaves a trail of wispy clouds called contrails. It’s frozen water vapor. Ice. But some Americans believe that contrails are chemicals that the US government is spraying on them. They call them “chemtrails” and Arizona State Senator Kelli Ward recently held a hearing to address them.

Ward told the Havasu News that her constituents were concerned about contrails having an effect on mercury levels in their bloodstream and the local weather. Area resident Jennifer Cramer said:

“Every time they do chemtrailing there is some dramatic change in the weather. I noticed it this weekend and then it got very windy. I’m not a scientist and I don’t know what’s in the [chemtrails]. I think we have a right to know instead of worrying about it every day.”

Glad she pointed out that she’s not a scientist, because I never would have guessed.

Here’s the good news: A 2013 survey by Public Policy Polling found that only 5 percent of Americans believed the government was spreading chemicals with planes and 8 percent were unsure. That didn’t change much when it broke down by party affiliation. Five percent of Democrats bought the conspiracy theory, 11 percent were unsure, compared to 6 percent of Republicans, and 7 percent unsure. But when you break it down by age, 17 percent of 18 to 29-year-olds believed the government was spraying chemicals, with 9 percent unsure.

So when asked if Uncle Sam is slipping us an aerial mickey, more than a quarter of 18 to 29-year-olds say, “Could be.” Funny how the generation that’s most plugged into the information superhighway couldn’t Google it.

Whatever happened to the teachable moment? Like when John McCain said, “No, Ma’am.” Obama’s “not an Arab.” Politicians must stop humoring the wing-nuts. Don’t give them a hearing on contrails; tell them it’s ice.

Plus the joke’s on the Arizonans who don’t believe contrails are ice, because that kind of thinking is so European – if you’ve ever been to a bar in Europe, you’ll know that they don’t believe in ice either.