Freedom’s Just Another Word for Nothing Left to Lease

By Bill Maher

I guess it would have been wrong to not rebuild the World Trade Center, but it seems to be more of a succès d'estime than a succès d'office space. The museum turns out to be a little cheesy, and no one wants to work in the national Thumb in the Hijackers’ Eye.

The tower cost $3.9 billion and barely half of the office space has been rented out, and to only five entities. According to Mashable, Conde Nast has floors 20 to 44. The General Services Administration has floors 50 to 55. “The China Center” has floors 64 to 69, KiDS leased floor 87 and Legends Hospitality (which sounds like an escort service) has 100 to 102. That means 41 of the 104 floors are occupied and 63 are empty.

The developer is lowering the rates. But would you move your employees there? I think there are three solutions:

1) Make it into condos – I hear those are pretty expensive in Manhattan.

2) Make it a ski jump and host the Winter Olympics.

3) Did you ever see The World According to Garp? Garp is looking at a house with his wife when it’s hit by a small plane. He decides to buy it. And here’s his reasoning:

“Honey, the chances of another plane hitting this house are astronomical. It's been pre-disastered. We're going to be safe here.”

 Change the name from One World Trade Center to The Garp Building.