Highway to Sell

By Bill Maher

New Rule: If you’re going to shoot down somebody’s idea, you must offer up an alternative idea in its place. A Utah husband and wife team, Scott and Julie Brusaw, have developed what they’re calling Solar Roadways. It’s a road paving system made of thick interlocking hexagonal solar panels. The solar panels also feature LED lighting that can be programmed for traffic lines, construction detours, or warning sensors, as well as heating elements that can melt snow. So chalk one up for marriage. The couple has already received a contract from the Federal Highway Administration to build a Solar Roadway prototype and have raised over $2 million through an online fundraising campaign, and on weekends they solve crimes.

Who knows, some day these panels could cover every square inch of America’s roads and highways, just like spit-out gum does now. Naturally, right wing bloggers have already begun shooting down the idea with a resounding “Yes We Can’t.” When did progress become partisan?

I don’t know if these solar roadways will work or not, but at least it’s an idea, and a new idea. America never invents anything new anymore. Except for drugs. Nowadays the US only creates the newer version of the thing you just bought three months ago.

For example, Gillette has introduced the ProGlide FlexBall razor, which features a ball hinge that helps the head pivot and Gillette boasts that it shaves stubble 23 microns shorter than other razors, although your actual microns may vary. Can we stop trying to perfect the shaving razor? Do you really need five blades, a curved rotating handle, pivoting head and a strip of aloe to get your shave on? A razor shouldn’t have more blades than a chef at Benihana.