The California state flag is 103 years old, but it's based on an even-older flag - from the Bear Flag Republic - that's 168 years old. Just like Jerry Brown. The grizzly on the flag is based on a real bear named "Monarch" who lived in the zoo at Golden Gate Park, before rents got out of control. There's also a red star in the corner, to represent show business, and our allegiance to international communism.
But it's the 21st century and California has changed a lot. We need to freshen up the flag. And that means updating Monarch the Bear.
For example, here he is typing a screenplay at Starbucks:
...In a dumpster looking for gluten-free garbage:
...At a park in West Hollywood, waiting on his Grindr hook-up:
...Getting beaten by the LAPD at a routine traffic stop.
...With Bill and Woody Harrelson getting high.
...After he got some work done.
...Getting run over by Lindsay Lohan:
...And being refused an apartment in a building owned by Donald Sterling.