California Bear Flags

The California state flag is 103 years old, but it's based on an even-older flag - from the Bear Flag Republic - that's 168 years old. Just like Jerry Brown. The grizzly on the flag is based on a real bear named "Monarch" who lived in the zoo at Golden Gate Park, before rents got out of control. There's also a red star in the corner, to represent show business, and our allegiance to international communism. 

But it's the 21st century and California has changed a lot. We need to freshen up the flag. And that means updating Monarch the Bear.

For example, here he is typing a screenplay at Starbucks:

...In a dumpster looking for gluten-free garbage:

...At a park in West Hollywood, waiting on his Grindr hook-up:


...Getting beaten by the LAPD at a routine traffic stop.

...With Bill and Woody Harrelson getting high.

...After he got some work done. 

...Getting run over by Lindsay Lohan:

...And being refused an apartment in a building owned by Donald Sterling.