A Schwing and a Miss

By Bill Maher

Miss America, Nina Davuluri, was speaking at a high school in York, Pennsylvania when she was approached by 18-year-old Patrick Farves, who asked her to be his date to the prom. She said darn it, I’m washing my sash that night, and Patrick has been suspended for being a zany, romantic, creepy, braying jackass.

The internet sees this as a terrible injustice, but “hey celebrity, come to my prom” is pretty far past its freshness date. Whatever happened to the good old days, when if a guy wanted to date a celebrity he’d have to prove himself by shooting the president?

If you’re a teenager, no celebrity wants to be your prom date, except James Franco. And now that 10,000 other gorfs have asked celebrities to come to the gymnasium, asking another lacks what humorists call “the element of surprise.”

Farves had been told, before Davuluri arrived, not to bother her, but he explains:

“At that point in time, it was 10 minutes before the presentation, and I was pretty much set to do it. I was a little pressured. Everybody expected me to do it. I'm the kind of person who, if someone says I won't do something, I'll prove people wrong. I will.”

So it’s not that he feels like he’s entitled to date a celebrity; he had to do it because he said he would do it.  Otherwise he’d lose his credibility, like Obama and foreign policy.

Sounds like Miss America is missing out on someone pretty special.