Those Sneaky Iranians

By Bill Maher

You know what’s scary? That the Iranians are building a fake aircraft carrier. As Rep. Eliot Engel, the senior Democrat on the House Foreign Affairs committee put it, “It's some kind of a ruse and whatever they are up to, it's no good.” An Iran expert at the AEI think tank said the mock carrier is for “realistic training scenarios: to help “deter the U.S. Navy.” Other officials said Iran would tow it out to sea and blow it up for propaganda purposes. It all sounds very frightening, doesn’t it?  

Too bad the truth isn’t so scary. Turns out the fake carrier is just a prop for a movie called “Airbus,” about the incident in the 80s when the USS Vincennes shot down an Iranian civilian passenger jet, killing all 290 aboard. So yeah, it’s kind of propaganda, but then so was “Saving Private Ryan.” I know it’s hard for Americans to believe, but Iran does have a movie industry. They also have shopping malls and heavy metal bands. As US Weekly might put it, “They’re just like us!” But we had to assume a nefarious motivation, because Iran = Evil.  

By the way, the director of “Airbus’s” last film was “Jesus the Messiah,” with two endings, one for Christians in which He’s crucified, and one for Muslims in which He escapes (which, let’s be honest, is a better ending).