Saint Pope

By Bill Maher

Earlier this month while we were on hiatus (coincidence??) the Vatican announced that they'd cleared the late Pope John Paul II for sainthood. Which means they've confirmed -- confirmed -- that he performed a second miracle. And now he can have his number retired, which is basically what sainthood is. It's the Catholic Hall of Fame.

So, what exactly did John Paul do? Well, it seems a Costa Rican woman who was suffering from a brain aneurysm prayed to John Paul and was healed on May 1, 2011 -- the day John Paul was beatified! Coincidence??

Yes. Yes, of course it is. 

Now, that was miracle number two. John Paul's number one miracle was curing a French nun of Parkinson's Disease. Totally happened. Never mind that doctors suspect she didn't have Parkinson's in the first place.

I'm sorry, but for those believers out there, aren't these "miracle" tales kind of a tell that this religion is completely full of shit? Does anyone actually believe that the late Pope interceded on behalf of these two women and cured them?

In order to have a nice public relations story to honor one of the great Catholic legends we make up stories where they wield supernatural powers.

It's like if Troy Aikman wanted to get into the Hall of Fame, and instead of basing it on his stellar NFL career, Jerry Jones would claim that when Aikman went to visit one of those kids in the cancer wards, he cured him.

Why can't the Vatican name someone a "saint" without all the miracle mumbo jumbo?