Bringing Out the Big Guns

By Bill Maher

An observation that comes up fresh every time a liberal makes it: "If you think Second Amendment rights are limitless, why not buy a flamethrower?"

Oh, snap. 

The answer is: It depends on where you live. You really are legally allowed to buy and operate a flamethrower under federal law (because it's not really dangerous, like lawn darts). Forty states also have no specific flamethrower restrictions. California does, but unlicensed possession of a flamethrower is only a misdemeanor. Possession of mushrooms can be a misdemeanor or a felony. So if you're eating mushrooms, and you see a cop, play it safe. Tell him you're a flamethrower.

Other real gun laws, just so liberals can stop using them as crazy exaggerations:

• Under federal law, there’s nothing that says you can't legally own a "minigun" -- that's the door gun of an attack helicopter, that shoots 166 rounds a second. 

• You can also own a cannon, as long as it uses black powder. 

• You can own a harpoon gun. In case you're being mugged by a narwhal.

• You can own a grenade launcher, but not grenades. I'm not making that up.

Isn’t freedom great?