Posthumous Posts

By Bill Maher

Just when you thought social media couldn't get any more out of hand, along come several new apps that enable Facebook and Twitter users to keep posting and tweeting after they die. That's right, you can still L.O.L. even after you're D.O.A. Because why let the total and permanent cessation of all vital functions interfere with your social networking? Plus, about a third of the stuff you read on Twitter makes you wonder if the person who tweeted it is actually brain dead. 

Thanks to a new crop of apps with names like "DeadSocial," "If I Die," and "LivesOn," you can live-tweet your own death. Not only will these new Internet tools schedule social media posts from beyond the grave, LivesOn boasts that their program can mimic a person's syntax and taste, creating a virtual continuation of your personality after you die. Their slogan is -- and this is true -- "When your heart stops beating, you'll keep tweeting." It makes you wonder if Al Gore ever regrets inventing the Internet.

This concept is not all that new -- people have been leaving posthumous video messages and wills for decades. And when I say people, I mean guest stars on episodes of Columbo. But does the average person really believe that their tiny shouts into this gigantic electronic echo chamber that we call the World Wide Web will be missed after their death? Do you honestly believe that after you're gone people will be checking your Facebook page to see photos of the food that you would have eaten if you were still alive?

Even Tupac's hologram is thinking, "Now this is a little over the top."