Immaculate Misconception

By Bill Maher

Helen M. Alvaré is a law professor at George Mason University. She's also president of the Chiaroscuro Institute, a "nonpartisan, nonprofit think tank that addresses issues of human sexuality, marriage and respect for life." I don't know what "nonpartisan" is doing with those other words, but I don't make the rules.

In honor of the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, Professor Alvaré co-authored an editorial laying out all the reasons she thinks abortion is murder and should be illegal (but in a nonpartisan way, of course). My favorite was #7:

"Seventh, it is more than a little likely that legal abortion, alongside contraception, has changed the mating market for women by reducing the cost of sex and eliminating one of the incentives to wed."

Yes, she is saying that like it's a bad thing. The mind reels. How do you write the words "the cost of sex" without giving yourself the creeps? Forget that Alvaré is a woman in the 21st century...she's a law professor. And she seems to believe -- and believe that it's obvious -- that women don't like sex, and they only do it to trade on the "mating market" and get married. And abortion and contraception are screwing that up because they give people too much choice about when to get married and have children. And that's bad. Because men are going to have sex and not suffer for it, like women do, when they suffer through sex. Gross, horrible, repulsive sex. This mindset is not from the 50s -- it's from the 1650s. Here's more:

"Among millennials, marriage is occurring later in life, if at all, and non-marital birth rates are climbing."

Now we're just on a walking tour of Crazy Town. Let's retrace our steps, in case you missed the turn.

• Abortion is bad because it means men can have sex with women and not marry them.

• This means women aren't getting married.

• And they're having more children out of wedlock.

Which proves:

•Abortion leads to unplanned pregnancies.

It doesn't come within light years of logic. She might as well say abortion is killing the bees.

Again, Helen M. Alvaré is a law professor at George Mason University. 

Why not just say: I don't like people having sex and, if they do have sex, the penalty should be marriage, parenthood, or prison.