Meddle East

By Bill Maher

I'm starting to hear a lot of foreign affairs experts talk about how Obama's second term could be dominated by problems in Iran, Syria, Afghanistan, Egypt, Libya, and a bunch of other fucked-up Middle Eastern countries we're not even thinking about yet. Do we really need to be so bogged down in that part of the world? Why? The answer used to be oil. But the International Energy Agency projects the United States will be the world's leading producer of oil by 2017. Thanks, shale!

We didn't think that was possible a few years ago. We're also already, today, a net exporter of oil. "Oil independence" used to be such a pipe dream, but we can taste it now. It seems like we could be energy independent if we just had the political will to change our geopolitical goals, the first of which should be getting the fuck out of the Middle East. And staying out. Leave them yesterday, like you would a psychotic girlfriend.

Of course, there's also Israel. I guess it can't just pick up and move to Boca Raton. But here's a depressing stat: over half of Israeli Jews now believe Israel practices "apartheid" against Palestinians. That used to piss us off when South Africa did it. Don't we have to reassess our commitments there, too?