Office Space Cowboys

By Bill Maher

It turns out America is not "gettin' too old for this shit." Older workers are postponing retirement and staying on the job longer than they had planned -- and longer than many would like. I'm looking at you, Betty White. A recent report by the Conference Board finds that, not only is the American work-force getting older in general, but many are approaching retirement age and deciding to stick around past the date they had planned to pack it all in and start clogging up the foyer at the Olive Garden.

Just two years ago, 42% of workers between the ages of 45 and 60 said they planned to postpone retirement. Now it's 62%. That's almost two out of every three over-45 workers saying, "I can't afford to quit when I'd hoped."

The reasons workers give for hanging around are that wages have stagnated and the financial crisis has killed their portfolios.

Says the Wall Street Journal:

"They are also facing low interest rates, an uncertain future for Social Security, and a lower likelihood of receiving employer health insurance after retirement."

Back in 2002, just about one of every five people over 60 were part of the labor force, while now it's more like one out of every three. I know it's cliché to say "60's the new 40," but it is. And 80's the new 60. And "dead" is the new, "You don't look so good."

Some say these older hangers-on are clogging up the pipeline, holding onto jobs that should go to the next generation. But, as America ages, doesn't it make sense that our workforce would age along with it? Not to mention older workers know their shit and they're more reliable. They're less likely to come in the morning after St. Patrick's Day with a hangover and remnants of green face paint on their earlobes and eyelids.

Older people are hogging all the jobs and all the Social Security and all the Medicare and all the hard candy that comes in an aluminum tin. When are young people gonna smarten up and vote?

Oh, that's right, they can't vote because after college they moved back in with their parents and Dad is at work with the car.