Shop ‘Til You Drop

By Bill Maher

Remember when Bush-era Republicans would complain that the media wasn’t telling us the good stories from Iraq, about all the peaceful parts, the joy of the Kurds, and just focusing on the negative stories? That’s how Democrats sound now as they try to keep the focus off their pathetic rollout of Obamacare. “Never mind the website and Obama’s promise that turned out to be not true! What about all the good stories of people getting insured?” And I’m sure there are plenty of stories like that.

But after initially telling us that the websites didn’t work because there were just too many happy customers on them and the servers failed, we learned that, on day one, only six people were able to sign up, and that the problems had nothing to do with the volume. The site simply doesn’t work. Next we learned that “hundreds of thousands” of people were getting cancellation notices in the mail, something President Obama promised them wouldn’t happen, and that they’d be able to keep their plan if they liked it. And then we were told that if those people would only shop around, they would find a better plan.

On the site that doesn’t work.

Well, according to the Associated Press, there now at least 3.5 million Americans who have received cancellation letters and will not get to keep their insurance plans, even if they liked it and wanted to. And the Obama administration is even admitting that 3.5 million may just be the beginning. There are 14 million of these private plan holders nationwide.

White House senior adviser/flack Dan Pfeiffer was on clean-up duty this Sunday, telling George Stephanopoulos that, “If you had a plan before the Affordable Care Act passed that hasn’t been changed or canceled, you can keep it.” …Okay.

Debbie Wasserman Schultz was recently on our show claiming that “It was not a lie, let’s just be very clear. So let me knock that down right away.”

And “When the president and myself and every other Democrat that talked about that if you like your health care, you can keep it, that was referring to the overwhelming majority of Americans who had health care.”

…Yes, sorry 14 million Americans who buy your own plans. I know you heard “If you like your plan, you can keep it. Period.” But we weren’t addressing you. We were clearly referring to the overwhelming majority of Americans who had health care. ….Okay, okay. You did have health care. But still! I was addressing the people who had employer-based health care. They can keep it. Not private health care plans. Or maybe I was defining “having health care” as “people who had health care plans I approve of.” And you should have known that. So it’s not a lie. Got that?

Consider your point knocked down! Or something.

Boy, they better get those websites running quick, because this kind of shit sounds remarkably like the same brand of dishonesty that came out of the mouth of some doofus from the Project for the New American Century in 2005. Yes, theirs was worse because when they fucked up and lied and obfuscated and tried to shine their turd, thousands of people died in Iraq. But let’s not steal from their playbook.