By Bill Maher
A group of Saudi Arabian women are planning a protest drive on October 26th. They have a website where you can sign up, and so far they have over 16,000 women who say they'll drive a car sometime that day -- even though they don't have penises -- whether God likes it or not.
The declaration reads, in part:
"Since there is no justification for the Saudi government to prohibit adult women citizens who are capable of driving cars from doing so, we urge the state to provide appropriate means for women seeking the issuance of permits and licenses to apply and obtain them."
No justification, you say? (Except religion?) Those were fighting words for prominent Saudi psychologist, Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Luhaydan. He patiently and slowly explains that there are very good, practical reasons to ban half the humans from autonomous travel except on foot: It's for their own good, so they don't fuck up their reproductive organs and have deformed monster children.
"Physiological science and functional medicine [found that driving] automatically affects ovaries and rolls up the pelvis... This is why we find [that] for women who continuously drive cars, their children are born with clinical disorders of varying degrees."
See, everything in the holy books is there for a reason. He adds that women who want to drive should, "put the mind before the heart and emotion, and look at this issue with a realistic eye." Isn't that just like girls? Not getting science?
Don't worry, the Saudis have threatened to punish any and all "violators and those who demonstrate in support" of the protest.