By Bill Maher
The Mayan Apocalypse fizzled, but conservatives are still terrified that the end is near.
I visited several of the most heavily trafficked right-wing web sites today, as I am wont to do on a blustery day in January, and I was struck not by the stories, but by the ads. The ads are all survivalist companies: gold coin makers, freeze-dried food suppliers, "free energy" machine manufacturers...
Free energy: the oldest, corniest, hokiest confidence scheme in the history of the world, and yet people still fall for it.
Here's another ad with a dire message.
Dust bowls? Mass riots? Shit, Martha, get the shotgun out of the attic! Honestly, I'm still not sure what this ad was selling; ten minutes into the video they still hadn't told me and I gave up.
But whatever happens, I’ll be prepared, thanks to this other ad for Wayne LaPierre's new survival manual, Safe.
Thanks to Wayne, I now know how to protect my family from the rioting black hordes looking for the canned goods I've hidden in my bomb shelter/panic room/man cave.
These ads point out the biggest problem facing the GOP today, which is that its base is extremely fearful, extremely gullible, and way out of step with the vast majority of Americans. I mean, do you know anyone who lies awake at night worried that America is going to run out of food? If so, tell them to relax -- most Americans have enough fat stored in their adipose tissue to last them through three or four potato famines anyway.