Why America Can’t Have Nice Things

By Bill Maher

Did you know the Air Force has a miniature space shuttle that can fly and land without a pilot? Neither did I, but they do. And did you know that the Mini Shuttle X- 37B just recently completed a year-long mission in orbit doing something very, very secret? Neither did I, but it did. It touched down in California on June 16. It was supposed to land on the 15th, but they wanted to make sure Amanda Bynes wasn’t on the road. 

I'm not a big fan of drones and secret spy planes, but the technology behind it is pretty amazing. And it got me to wondering: why can't we have any of that technology? How come the Air Force gets planes that fly themselves, but I’m still sitting in a car with a steering wheel that Henry Ford would recognize?

The reason we don't have flying cars, and robot housekeepers, and all that other Jetsons stuff that they promised us we'd have by the year 2000 is because the military got it instead. They got all the cool stuff and we got pizza with hot dogs in the crust. The only cool thing we got was the Internet, which was developed by the Defense Department, thus proving my point. It's purely a fluke that the Internet turned out to be something the public sector would find useful (porn). God knows what Star Trekky new weapons systems they're working on at DARPA or the other hush-hush defense agencies, but whatever they are, I'm sure they'll cost jillions of dollars and be of no use to any of us. It's just money pissed away that we could be spending on making our lives better.