Arabian Rights

By Bill Maher

Sound the alarms and cheer the new Arab Spring: Saudi Arabia announced that they are going to let women play in the Olympic games this summer in London!  

Well, maybe just one or two women -- and only after massive international pressure. And their likeliest candidate, Dalma Rushdi Malhas, was born in Ohio, and then moved to Rome and then France for training. Though she generally dresses in normal equestrian gear and lives a fairly typical westernized lifestyle (the filthy-rich version of it, anyway), if she made the team, the Saudis would make her wear some sort of sports hijab.

But it turns out that Dalma's horse suffered an injury, which will prevent her from competing in the Games. And so the search continues for someone who can run 100 meters in less than 15 seconds while wearing a beekeeper suit.

This all happened on the same weekend that a Saudi women's activist group canceled a planned protest and instead decided to write a letter to King Abdullah asking him again, pretty please, if he might perhaps consider allowing them to drive.

These things are worth keeping in mind, because while all this has been going on, Saudi Arabia announced that they were going to begin paying the salaries of the rebel army in Syria.  Because Assad's regime is, you know, oppressive and unfair to its people. As opposed to the Saudis, whom we sold $60 billion worth of planes and weaponry in 2010 alone, presumably because of their high moral character.