Supreme Contort

By Bill Maher

The Supreme Court will soon rule in the case of Arizona v. United States: Turn That Damn Music Down, We're Trying to Sleep. It's a hot tamale, because it's about Latinos, who are an important voting block, and because it looks like the second case this year -- along with Obamacare -- where the Supreme Court could hand the President his ass. Here's what's at stake:

In 2010, Arizona -- land that was Mexican, after it belonged to Spain, after it belong to the Anasazi -- passed a law designed to make life as unpleasant as possible for anyone whose skin is less pink than gum. The law was pretty openly intended to make illegal aliens self-deport, and take the legal aliens with them, while they're at it, so that Arizona can be what God intended -- a nice sunny place for angry white people to get skin cancer and die.

Another irony? The Spanish also gave us the word "vamoose."

The law encourages cops to check the immigration status of anyone they suspect of being in America illegally. Nothing racist about that. Your suspect could be an illegal Canadian, giving himself away by wearing cross-country skis. The law requires all noncitizens to carry a federal registration card at all times, and produce the document on demand. The law authorizes Arizona cops to arrest any immigrant without a warrant if they have probable cause to believe the immigrant committed a deportable offense.

The law has only two exceptions: Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber. Some Mexicans have a little Canadian in them.

It’s a repulsive law that redefines "probable cause" as "not being white." Latino Americans hate it, for good reason, and the Obama administration filed a lawsuit seeking a temporary injunction against it. A federal judge agreed, the Ninth Circuit affirmed, and now the Supremes get their say. A decision is expected very soon.

It could be bad for Obama if he loses, because it makes him look like a weakling and a fuck-up. It could be good for Obama, if it reminds Latinos that Republicans aren't their friends. We'll see.