12 Days of New Rules: Day 3 – Mustard

'Tis the season to be jolly, so the Real Time writers have combed through 10 seasons of New Rules in order to share their favorites with you here. Here is your New Rule of the Day:

#510 – April 27, 2007

New Rule: Someone has to make a mustard container that doesn't squirt out yellow water before it gets to the actual mustard. Someone had to say it. I get all excited for lunch, and then Grey Poupon pees on my sandwich. I suppose I could shake the bottle first, but, f*ck you, I'm an American consumer! Not only should your mustard be pre-blended to my specifications, it should also whiten my teeth.