Deleted Scene

Okay, so ‘Real Time’ is a live show and we don’t actually delete scenes, but we often write more jokes than we can squeeze into an hour. Last Friday, we had a veritable bonanza of action hero send-off lines from our mid-show “desk piece.” Here are the ones that didn’t live to air:

In the movies, before the Navy Seal, played by Dolph Lundgren, delivers the kill shot, there’s always that cheesy, action-hero kiss-off line. And we got to thinking, what might have been the last line Osama bin Laden heard?

“Would you like to dial 9-1-1?”

“Time for some turban renewal.”

“Osama bin there, done that.”

“Yippee-ki-yay, Mullah F**ker!”

“My forecast? Sunni, with a chance of brains.”

“Gels and liquids…back on the plane.”

“Nice compound, but your rent is due.”

“Yes we can.”

“Talk Abbottabad day…”

“I’ll tell your wives you said goodbyes.”

“One small step for man, one giant step for sending your ass to hell.”

“You’re tali-banned.”

“Jihadist, you just ji-had it.”

 Which do you think should have made the cut?