Writers Meeting Minutes

by Miles Leicher

Meeting called to order: 1 PM

1. Agenda item: Glenn Beck

  • Discussion: He's getting crazier by the day, going off the deep end in search of ratings and/or help. This is exhausting to watch.
  • Video: Glenn Beck using two chalkboards to explain how China is going to take over Australia and, possibly, New Zealand?
  • Reaction: Laughter.

2. Agenda item: Blue Oyster Cult

  • Discussion: Blue Oyster Cult is still on tour?! When, where and how much?
  • Reaction: Writer Adam Felber: "It's their 'We Now Have Reason to Fear the Reaper' tour."

3. Agenda item: Mars

  • Discussion: Bill Maher: We should not go to Mars because:
    1. It's too far away.
    2. There's no air.
    3. Solar flares emit energetic protons that pass through the body, which sounds "highly unpleasant."
    4. There's a bunch of space crap flying around at high speeds, any of which could put a hole in you.
  • Conclusion: Going to Mars is just ridiculous, "just like driving to Burbank at certain times of the day." Although, as writer Brian Jacobsmeyer noted, "There's no life there either."

Respectfully submitted,

Miles Leicher