Meet Snowflake

by Miles Leicher

She's a lean, mean, people-carrying machine.  Sittin' pretty on 9-inch rims, Snowflake has been a member of the Real Time family since 2004.  Quite the trendsetter, she's been powered by electricity since before it was cool.  She's like the Chevy Volt's busted old grandmother that can still beat everybody in an arm-wrestling match. And we love her for it.

MILES: Hi, Snowflake.  Thanks for taking the time to meet with me today.

SNOWFLAKE: My pleasure.

MILES: How's your week going?

SNOWFLAKE: Oh pretty good.  I'm not too busy and sometimes it's nice to just sit around and recharge the ol' batteries.  Know what I mean?

MILES: Totally.  What's it like working on Real Time?

SNOWFLAKE: It's been really rewarding.  I feel like a really important member of the team – especially on Fridays.

MILES: Why is that?

SNOWFLAKE: Sometimes, after the show, Bill Maher drives me from the stage back to the office.  It's really scary and sometimes we almost kill pedestrians, but it's also the only time I feel like I'm really living.

MILES: You nearly ended my life once.  I'm glad that's fun for you.

SNOWFLAKE: ...

MILES: So, um, what are your specs? 

SNOWFLAKE: Well, I've got three ponies under the hood.  Top speed of about eight mph.  Ten if we're going downhill.  I'm only supposed to carry four people, but we both know that rules are made to be broken.

MILES: Yeah, I've seen you rolling with, like, six people.  You look like a clown car.

SNOWFLAKE: I take offense to that.

MILES: Sorry.  Is there anyone you don't like to have drive you?

SNOWFLAKE: Well, I'd rather not say.  It's rude.

MILES: Come on.  We'll go off the record.

SNOWFLAKE: Do you know Co-Executive Producer, Dean Johnsen?

MILES: Yes. He's my boss.

SNOWFLAKE: Well your boss drives like a little girl.  It's like he's trying to save gas – and I don't even use gas.

MILES: You're right.  That is rude.

SNOWFLAKE: Wanna go for a ride?

MILES: I wish I could, but I'm a little busy.  Maybe around lunchtime?

SNOWFLAKE: Sure. You know where to find me.