by Miles Leicher
Jay Jaroch is a writer on Real Time with Bill Maher. He also played "Little Darth Vader" in that Volkswagen Super Bowl commercial.*
Jay Jaroch, has anyone ever pronounced your name correctly on the first try?
Never in America. But when I'm trolling the docks in Gdansk looking for a good time, they nail it.
And you're from Boston, right?
Yes. How could you tell? Is it my hair-trigger temper, or my thinly-veiled racism?
Actually, the way you suspect that everyone is on the take.
Everyone is on the take.
How long have you worked at Real Time?
Since it started in 2003.
That's a lot of New Rules.
I've almost run out of things to pretend to be angry about.
What's the best part of your job?
Being a part of the Time Warner family.
What would you be doing if you weren't writing for Real Time?
Do you hate it when people ask you to "say something funny?"
No, you're the first person who has ever asked me that.
Say something funny.
You're right. That's annoying.
Who's your favorite Real Time guest of all time?
What guest would you love to have on Real Time?
What's your favorite TV show? Don't be a kiss-ass and say Real Time.
Oh, I like Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations. It's like if Bill did a food show. But Bill doesn't really eat food. He eats what looks like a healthier, macrobiotic version of what Ivan Denisovich ate in the gulag. And he's also twice as healthy as me, so what do I know?
What's your favorite behind-the-scenes memory?
That one time, in 2003, when the Amstels in the green room weren't skunked.
Who's the funniest person you know?
Mitt Romney. So many characters. He's like our generation's Peter Sellers.
Do you think he's going to be the Republican nominee?
No. There's a video of him admitting to re-baptizing people's dead relatives into Mormonism. Somehow I think that's going to come back to haunt him. Much like a dead relative who's angry about being re-baptized into Mormonism would do.
Thanks for your time.
That's it? Charlie Rose went the whole hour.
Get back to work.